I totally agree with you, that one of the biggest dangers of any vow or spiritual discipline is certainly that it will end up being false in some way.
Choosing to wear a purity ring or choosing to sign a pledge is not the same as choosing to be pure. That being said, purity rings can be a great reminder of a choice to remain pure, but are by no means a prerequisite for purity. That ring had provided her with a false sense of purity. It was her proof that she was, in her opinion, pure, but her life spoke loudly to the contrary.
#Purity ring for daughter license#
When I tried to approach the subject with her, she stopped me and showed me her hand, “I have a purity ring,” as if it were her license to do whatever she liked. One young woman I taught was overtly sexual and immodest. I have seen the same happen with purity ring wearers. You slap a Jesus fish (Icthus) on your car and it makes no difference what you do in that car, people should be able to notice, by the Jesus fish, that you are, obviously, a Christian. Purity is a lifestyle, not simply a part of your life. You have given your daughter a piece of jewelry she has to choose to be pure. You, the parent, have placed the ring on your daughter therefore she must be pure. We can be guilty of treating purity rings and contracts like the 21st Century chastity belt. Sign all the contracts you would like, but the porn will not go away. Victory is not guaranteed because of choices you made yesterday. Preparation for that battle does not take place in one moment. Purity is a daily, even moment-by-moment battle that is only getting worse. It is an important decision, yes, but it is also a daily decision.
It requires His grace and His enabling in order for us to live lives that honor and glorify Him. Because purity is more personal and less visible, it requires the working of God’s Holy Spirit in our lives. Purity requires God’s strength.īecause abstinence involves our physical interactions with another living, breathing, human being, it can be accomplished through sheer grit, determination, logic, or fear.
Purity is a heart attitude that affects how I live my life, not just how I use my body. Anybody-Christian or not-can be abstinent. Sexual acting out is the ultimate manifestation of impurity. Purity actually has very little to do with sex. With all the emphasis placed on abstinence, purity rings might well be renamed abstinence rings. The purity ring approach does not work, and here’s why: 1. My years of working with young women have taught me something. The contracts are packed away gathering dust and the rings long since gone. Yet, here we sit, in the aftermath of the “True Love Waits” movement, living together, divorcing, ‘hooking up,’ and more addicted to porn than ever before. In her heart, denying a ring was like saying, “No, Mom, I actually plan on having sex before I am married,” but that was far from the case.īeing a teenager during the “True Love Waits” movement meant purity rings in every magazine and purity pledges to sign and frame and hang on the wall. They were reserved for the pure, the chaste, the perfect I was none of those. I did not want one because I did not deserve to wear one. The last thing I wanted was a shiny reminder of where I was supposed to be. Wearing a cute ring could never change that. I was a virgin, yes, but I had already lost my purity. Purity rings and pledges were all the rage when I was 13, but I was embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed, and angry. I pitched a royal hormonal teenager fit, and we left ringless. To me, she might as well have hijacked the PA system and told the entire mall her daughter was a virgin.
My mom took me to the mall, and, only after walking into the department store, announced that she planned on buying me a purity ring. It might have been the most traumatizing day of my dramatic 13-year-old existence.
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